The After The Fact Situation

why do you care now? after all this time, after all the feelings I showed you, after all the hints I gave you, after all the pride I set aside, after all the time I spent with you, after I tried, after I expressed my feelings to you in that letter, after everything....why is it always after the fact?

this is probably what he thinks. He liked me. He showed it. I didn't really care...I wanted his friendship more than anything. And now its too late. It took me 3 years to figure it out....he is what we girls are always looking for...sweet, caring, cute and driven. something clicked for me but its too late. he's not into it and I dont think I can ever admit the feelings I have for him now...is it really that hard?

The Concert Situation

Recently one of my favorite artists came into town for a concert. Despite the fact that I am absolutely obsessed with this artist’s music, not many of my friends are into him…except for one. This one particular person, we’ll call him Mr. Swag, shares my passion of real soulful music. Now anyone who knows me knows how much I was looking forward to going. The countdowns were a constant reminder to all in my circle of what was to come. Even Mr. Swag would frequently get text message counting down the days. Though his responses never seemed quite as enthusiastic as mine. Oh did I mention the ticket was a gift to him?

My history with Mr. Swag is long and complicated of which I will spare you the details. The important thing to note is that 2 months prior to the concert, Mr. Swag and I got very “friendly” again after 5 months of very little communication. Our first round together ended abruptly when Mr. Swag all of a sudden decided we were better off as friends. His reason/excuse? He didn’t want to not ruin the dynamics between our tight circle of friends. But now he seemed to be back (even if it was only via the phone) and I was feeling hopeful again…I was having fun!

The concert came and went and so did Mr. Swag…AGAIN!!! Even though, we discussed building a real friendship without our extra circular activities, I rarely hear from him now. He was as sweet as can be at the concert and he made my time so enjoyable but now I’m heartbroken. He seems scared to be friends; this coming from the man who believes that the opposite sex can be ‘just friends’. This coming from the one who didn’t want to ruin the dynamic.

So I ask, is making a little effort to be friends with someone you share history with too much? …It’s not that hard, is it?

The Coffee Situation

where to meet, where to go.... on a first date? coffee is always the easy way out... right? have a cup of coffee/tea for a short period of time (no commitment needed). Oh and don't worry, you don't need to give up your amazing weekend for a 'maybe'. yup thats what I did (yup I suggested it) but wouldn't you after 100 first dates?...the uncomfortable silences at the table....what should I order....making sure not to order anything that may get stuck in your teeth..."so tell me about yourself "...would it make me look like a fatty if I get dessert....and lastly, should I 'fake reach' for my wallet when the bill comes? Ladies, there's a reason why there is a Coffee Bean on every corner!

ok, so we met up. nice enough to drive to my neck of the woods (he didn't offer a ride) and nice enough to pay for my $2 coffee. so the conversation starts..."so how was your weekend" THANK GOD the question wasn't "so tell me about yourself"....whatever happened to just connecting instead of investigating - no need to interrogate on a first date...or was it a date? it was short, but very sweet. no awkwardness (expect of course when I spilled my coffee...TWICE) and the conversation flowed as effortlessly as the texting back and forth has been.

so what's the problem? here's the situation with mr. coffee - he doesn't pick up the phone. sorry, but texting just doesn't do it for me I guess...and we all know that the lack of courage to engage in an actual conversation leads to no connection...literally....it's not that hard, is it?