The Random Situation

...getting ready to go out…texting back and forth…know it’s a big night because of the out-of-towners…conversation goes a little something like;

”We should meet up if you want” (hoping for a “ya, that’d be great”)

Instead

”Not really the one making plans”, he says (sure you’re not)

“OK well hope you boys have fun!” (Hope you don’t meet some chick and fall in love)

….later that night….

“Well funny to run into you here.” (Whoa, is she stalking me?)

“Same goes for you.” (Whoa, this is random! Hope he doesn’t think I’m stalking him!)

Evening goes well. We have a blast as usual. Chemistry is stronger than ever. He makes his calming comments and gives just the right compliments about the things that he knows matter to me. We dance like we’re the only ones there. Me in his arms, his hands in mine, my fingers wrapped in his. It’s what I’ve been yearning for, for months. It feels so right. This touch; his touch it’s what calms by body. He feels it too. He’s relaxed. He’s happy. He’s knows he doesn’t have to wear the mask or put on a show. He can just BE. I can’t think straight. I just want to stay like this. He kisses my neck and I flash back at what we had. I just wanna freeze this moment.

Then all too soon it ends. We’re saying goodbye. He hugs me. He won’t let go. He asks me to stay. Reluctantly, I say I have to go. But all I wanna do it stay. He pulls me back and gives me a pleading look. Asks again for me to stay. I simply place my hand on his head. A gesture to say I’m Sorry. He blows me a kiss as I turn to leave. I walk away. I don’t turn back. I can’t turn back. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be or feel. My heart isn’t supposed to be breaking.

Once I’m away reality sets in. Knowing we have such a great time together, why didn’t he invite me? We’re all friends and we all use to hang out so much but now he can’t even invite me out …it’s not that hard, is it?